In My Day, We Had Cavities

Who doesn’t love obnoxiously colorful, gimmicky, food? In the 90s we had snack foods a plenty, and they came in just about every color, whether you wanted them to or not (remember green ketchup?). Yes, the 90s were full of tasty snacks of all shapes, sizes, and colors. Let’s take a look at some of my favorites.

5. Ring Pops

ringpopsBeing a child in the 90s was probably a dentist’s worst nightmare. There was so much sugar available that it’s a miracle we didn’t all end up with permanently colored mouths.

Leading the raid on our teeth was Topps’ uniquely shaped lollipop, the Ring Pop. It was created to put a stop to a product engineer’s daughter’s thumb sucking. I don’t know if it worked, but what I do know is that I looked fabulous with all my tasty jewelry. Although, the whole one size fits all thing didn’t work so well. It was really only a matter of time until your glorious jewel came tumbling down in slobbery sticky mess.

But at least we looked good.

4. Bubble Tape

bubbletapeGum was the quintessential “no no” in the classroom. At some point, every one of us was told to spit out our gum in defeat. That didn’t stop Wriggly Jr. though from marketing straight to pre-teens with their magical 6ft piece of gum.

Sure, the flavor was concentrated mostly in little pockets of powder throughout the strip, and usually lasted all of 30 seconds, but we couldn’t resist. The goal wasn’t to chew particularly delicious gum, it was to see how much we could cram in our mouth at one time.

3. Squeeze Its

squeeze-its

The 90s was the time for drinks in unstable containers. From Capri Sun juice pouches to  plastic Squeeze It bottles, we were bound and determined to spill every drink we had. Essentially Squeeze Its were colored sugar water in waxy plastic bottles with faces. They weren’t especially delicious, but they were drinks with faces and that was enough for most 90s kids to pack them for lunch. There was only one problem, the plastic. Occasionally, if you didn’t pop the tab off correctly, there would be a sharp piece of plastic left that would surely stab you upon drinking.

We lived dangerously in the 90s.

2. Dunkaroos

dunkaroos

These were my favorite thing to bring to lunch. Little kangaroo shaped cookies and chocolate dipping sauce? Yes, please! They came in all types of cookies, from graham cracker to chocolate chip, and they were awesome!

Since the 90s, the shape of them has changed and so has the mascot (he looks a bit hipper), but they still look just as scrumptious as ever. The best thing about them  is they’re available at Sam’s Club and other bulk food stores in gigantic boxes! Excuse me while I go buy a few thousand.

1. Surge

surgeLast but certainly not least is everyone’s favorite original energy drink. Surge came in a grotesquely bright green can and was sure to put a pep in your step. It was teacher’s and parent’s worst nightmare. Upon drinking it, you would immediately turn into a little spaz from hell and continue until you crashed harder than James Dean (too soon?).

Of course this drink was soon discontinued because of its clear health risks, but that didn’t stop people from loving it. After it was discontinued, groups formed to “save Surge”, people began making their own recipes, and movements were organized on Facebook to bring the beloved heart attack inducing beverage back.

Thought it is still not sold through normal distributors you can still find packs of it online. Of course, you will be purchasing a drink that will have been sitting for over 15 years, but hey, it was probably going to melt your insides anyway.

 

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Back to top button